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12 Ideas that Limit Personal Success

By Pam Nochlin

The idea that:

  1. it is horrible when things are not the way we like them to be — instead try to change or control bad conditions so they become more satisfactory, and, if that is not possible, temporarily accept their existence.

  2. human misery is externally caused and is forced on us by outside people and events — instead that it is largely caused by the view that we take of unfortunate conditions.

  3. if something may be fearsome we should be upset and endlessly obsessed about it — instead that one would face it and render it non-dangerous and, when that is not possible, accept the inevitable.

  4. it is easier to avoid life difficulties and self-responsibilities — instead that the so-called easy way is usually much harder in the long run.

  5. we absolutely need something other or greater than ourselves on which to rely — instead it is better to take the risks of thinking and acting less dependently.

  6. we should be thoroughly competent, intelligent, and achieving and perfect— instead we accept ourselves as imperfect.

  7. because something once strongly affected our life, it should indefinitely affect it — instead we can learn from our past experiences but not be overly-attached to or committed to them.

  8. we must have control over things — instead that the world is full of chance and we can still enjoy life despite this.

  9. human happiness can be achieved by inertia and inaction — instead that we tend to be happiest when we are absorbed in creative pursuits, or when we are devoting ourselves to people or projects outside ourselves.

  10. we have no control over our emotions and cannot help feeling disturbed about things — instead we have control over our destructive emotions if we choose.

  11. is a necessity to be loved by others for almost everything you do — instead of concentrating on self-respect, and loving yourself.

  12. that certain acts performed by others are deemed awful or “wrong” — instead recognizing those acts are self-defeating, and the people who perform them are behaving ignorantly and out of their own insecurities.

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